Kaiba gets stoned behind a Circle K - Part 1
by Zrcalo
Summary: Kaiba's life goes down the drain and he ends up behind a circle K crying and smoking weed.


Kaiba was sitting outside the dumpster by a circle K. He was hunched over and looking at the ground. He was crying. He took out a blunt from his pocket and put it in his mouth. Tears ran down his face as he pulled out a lighter to light it. He flicked his finger to light it. No luck. He tried once more. Still no luck. he took the lighter and kept trying to get it to work. But this only made him cry harder. Eventually after many tries he finally got the lighter to work and he lit his blunt and took a hit. He stared off at the sky. How could such a thing happen to him?

His precious Blue eyes white dragons. All of them, gone. All three, no more. Just the thought of it wrenched his heart and made him weep and sob so much he had to gasp for air. He took another hit and coughed. He had to calm down. He HAD to calm down. He had a company to run. At least he still had that. He could always get Pegasus to make him more blue eyes.. yes. yes that would work. I mean.. the cards were destroyed, he HAD to make more for circulation right? right? No. He was just kidding himself. Maybe..wait. didnt he tear up Yugi's grandfather's blue eyes? the thought just crossed his ! yes he did. Perhaps they still had the pieces. he could reassemble it and reclaim at least ONE of them. Also there has got to be /other/ blue eyes white dragon cards out there right? I mean.. there's got to be more than four.

He stood up. He had a reason to live now. He would duel Yugi Mutou for his grandfather's blue eyes white dragon! ...wait. wait. wouldnt he have to duel his grandfather for it? Hm. What if he just..tricked yugi into thinking his grandfather was stuck inside a tv again a-la-ring style? Yeah. that would work. THEN HE COULD DUEL HIM FOR THE CARD! wait. wait.. this weed was clogging his head, and his ability to think. Why didnt he just pay someone to fucking steal the goddamn thing. yeah. that sounded right. He should do that. WAIT. DIDNT HE ALREADY DO THAT? YEAH THAT WORKED. HE'S A GENIUS! KAIBA FOR PRESIDENT. He stood up and saluted himself. He was high as a fucking kite.

A worker at the circle K caught a glimpse of a guy outside that looked crazy, so he stepped outside to take a look. It was a guy smoking WEED outside the circle K. Great. Just great. Third time this week it has happened.

He shook his head and headed over to where Kaiba was, "excuse me sir. I'm going to have to tell you to leave." He pointed at a 'no smoking' sign sternly.

Kaiba glared at him, "NO. I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU. I CAN OWN YOUR SOUL!"

The guy just stared at him like he was out of his goddamn mind, "um. sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave, or I will call the cops."

Kaiba shrieked, "I WILL AVENGE MY BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGONS!"

The clerk became more firm with his voice, "Sir. I am going to call the police. You need help."

Kaiba faced him and started swinging his arms wildly, "I AM KAIBA! I OWN KAIBALAND! I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT. I /OWN/ THE COPS! HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU!"

The clerk squinted his eyes, "...I'm calling the cops." He turned around and went back inside the building.

Kaiba just laughed maniacally outside. He was so fucking high.

Yugi and his friends were walking down the street when they heard some maniacal laughter, they stopped and looked around. They couldnt find where it was coming from. It happened again, and slowly out from the shadows Kaiba walked towards them, "I WILL DUEL YOU FOR BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON, YUGI MUTOU!"

Yugi stopped and stared at Kaiba. He looked like he'd been homeless for days, and was wearing a stained tweety bird t-shirt and ...what.. the.. girl pants? WHY WAS HE DRESSED LIKE SOME SORT OF TRAILER TRASH CROSS DRESSER? Yugi took several big steps away from him, "My mom doesnt let me talk to strangers. sorry."

Kaiba struck an anime pose, "YUGI. DUEL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

There were sirens in the distance.  
Yugi saw the cop cars coming out of the corner of his eye, he took one more step back, "No fuck you kaiba. You can live with..whatever happened..to you. ... actually what /did/ happen to you?"

Yugi looked over his shoulders again, the cop cars were getting closer. Yami was shaking his head and pantominimg to Yugi in his head to drop the subject.  
Yugi squinted his eyes and looked back at kaiba, "wait. tell me what happened."

Kaiba dramatically dropped to his knees and began wailing, "THEY TOOK MY BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON.. THEY TOOK THEM.. ALL THREE OF THEM.. THEY'RE GOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE"

he then started choking on his own tears and Yugi thought kaiba might puke so he ran and hid behind Joey. Joey just stood there like an idiot not knowing how to deal with possibly drunk and high kaiba in a tweety bird shirt.

Tristan just looked at the whole situation and said "Lets just get out of here."

Yugi shot him a glare, "no. you always say that, literally. Lets figure this out."

Tristan put his hands up in the air, "fine! Lets figure out why Kaiba is having a mental breakdown in a parking lot. HMM. LETS SEE. OH YEAH. HE LOST HIS BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGONS. case. closed."

Kaiba inched closer to joey and grabbed him. He started shaking him, "JOEEEYYYYYYY CONVINCE YUGI TO DUUEELLL MEEEEE."

Joey shoved him away, "dude do you even HAVE cards on you?"

Kaiba shrieked "I CAN DRAW THEM ON TOILET PAPER!"

Joey backed away, "yep. nope. we're leaving. lets go yug."

Joey grabbed Yugi by his jacket and started pulling him, though he didnt have to pull very hard, Yugi was already backing up.  
Yugi saw the cops pull into the parkinglot, "well.. uh.. see you.. kaiba. get better?"

Kaiba just got down on his knees and started screaming "MY BLUE EYYYYEESSS MY BLUEEE EYYYEEEEESSSSSS"

Joey gave him the finger and said "WELL YOU AINT GOT BLUE EYES NO MORE. YOU GOT RED EYES."


End file.
